To be or not to be...

This posting is actually long overdue... as per my standard operating procedures protocol. Haha. The wonders of procrastination eh? It gives you more things for you to do when you do not have the time for them and nothing to do when you have all the time to do them.

Anyway, this post is sort of a laying out of my thoughts onto a visible medium so that i can be clearer on what those thoughts are and the basis of forming, using, and standing by them.

The thoughts concerned came about when during a MSN conversation(if these things could be said conversations) with Michelle, she asked me if I would be attending a seminar on Christian Ethics. This is a month ago, in February. Basically, the seminar will address issues on euthanasia and what the Bible says about the practice, and how we Christians should respond to it. This is conjecture, as I did not attend the seminar.

When I saw her question on the screen, being the decisive(yea, right) person that I am, I declared that I have no reason to attend the seminar, because i already have my own stand on it. I did not mention what this stand is, of course; but anyway it put an end to that thread then.

However, after I had switched off the computer, that night, I had a nagging feeling in me that I had just dismissed the possibility to learn about something that is important. Oh, by the way, the stand which i thought i had was one of disagreement with the practice, as I thought it will simply go against the commandment of 'You shall not murder' of Deut 5:17. Why do i have a sickening feeling in my gut(or somewhere else; I can't pinpoint the location) that I am missing something then? Well, being the decisive person that I am, i did my brain cool-down exercises and went to bed.

Now, God is the best teacher there ever is, and He prompts you along to self-discovery rather than shovel truth into your mouth(though sometimes that is necessary). After my mind is initiated into a discussion of euthanasia, awareness of any thingto do with it soared.

It's amusing that the Eureka moment came from the drama serial, 'Love Blossoms' on Channel 8. It was the last episode. In this episode, there was a dilemma presented. One of the characters in the show had just gotten pregnant. This was usually a source of joy. The discovery coincided with a medical report for the would-be mother saying that she has a heart condition which would make it dangerous for her to give birth; she was advised to abort and have a heart operation first. A portion of the remaining minutes of the show was devoted to the decision-making of the couple as to the course of action to take.

The husband was decisive -'I will book an appointment with the gynaecologist tomorrow to have the abortion done.' For him, the decision was simple: a baby is yet unborn, yet the wife IS and shouldnt be endangered in trying to have a baby despite her medical condition.

The wife is not that quick to decide. Though she knows that her husband has decided on a course of action because he treasures her and does not want her to be in danger, she is of the mindset that a foetus once conceived is alive. There was a further complication in that the husband is infertile, therefore rendering future pregnancies unlikely.

The decision made finally was to keep the baby and go ahead with the risks. And of course, there was a happy ending. It's the last episode, duh.

So what am I doing here talking about abortion suddenly when what I started on was talking about euthanasia? Well, thinking about them, there's one major thing in common between them. They are both moral issues which fall on the greyer side of things. It's easy for an observer to arrive at an absolute stand on the subject(ala me), but it's much more complicated for the ones undergoing the decision-making themselves.

Let's go back to the scenario presented in the drama. Though fiction, it is not far-fetched from what could actually happen. Go for the abortion and the world risks not ever seeing one who would bring wonder to it in the future(politically correct version ); go ahead with the pregnancy and the world risks losing one in her prime. What was in the picture is that of possible personal sacrifice for a percieved greater good. A moral stalemate.

There could be many reasons calling for abortions. One could be that pregnancy endangers the life of the mother, as above. Another could be that the child might have genetic defects- nip a diseased branch in the bud so that there will be no complications later. There are also unwanted babies- born out of wedlock or the parents predicting that they will not be able to provide for the born child. And more reasons exist, which for the lack of creativity and experience I cannot list.

One central concern is the question of what constitutes life. Is the unborn baby alive? Or do we only call it alive when it has emerged out of the womb and is independently securing its breaths of air? This is a question that is not easily answered even though there have been countless arguments for and against it in the past. I, for now, will also not take a stand as yet.

There are broadly two types of euthanasia; voluntary and involuntary. The first has the intended recipient ask for it, the second is requested on behalf by close family members.Voluntary euthanasia may be decided close to intended action or distant; being spontaneous or taking the form of a Living Will dictating health care professionals the wishes of a person if that person enters into a state which he does not wish to be in. Involuntary euthanasia usually takes place when the person is in no state to make a decision(coma etc).

Voluntary euthanasia is usually decided in intense suffering- terminally ill patients in the late stages of disease, or incapacitated patients who have lost their bodily and motor functions are are just 'staying alive'. Thus they ask for a quick end to it- for the first case, 'since they are dying soon anyway.' and for the second, there is the philosophical debate between being alive and living. Still others seek to be removed from medical care because of the costs on their families. Of note is that alot of times, such patients do not have access to their own means to suicide, thus a turning towards euthanasia(attempted suicide).

So, in other words, how you would react to suicide would most probably affect how you react to voluntary euthanasia. Suicide is wrong. Though one may sympathise with the reasons for suicide, one ultimately knows that suicide is akin to murder. Some may argue about the right for self-autonomy; the right to do what one wants with his/her life. But that right may actually be born out of ideology(humanism) rather than truth.

Of course, telling these patients to 'shut up, bear with the pain' is plain cold. But the truth is, suffering is a good thing. Not in the sense that we should aim to suffer because it is good(an aim), but that suffering is a prime catalyst to bring out the best in a person. God has told us in 1 Cor 10:13 that he will not give us temptation beyond what we can bear. What temptation? Well, in this case, that will be the temptation of giving up, of seeking the easy way out.

In some ways, I think that one of God's programme for us on this world is to scour every little scrape of our dignity away. Sounds controversial? Well, I meant to be. The sad thing is, in this ambiguous world, pride has often been confused with dignity. Patients on life support are disgusted at themselves for having to rely on others for their needs. They feel like a baby perhaps, with prevailing social conventions present in their mind. The right of privacy may factor in. But, essentially isn't pride present here? There is a looking back towards the past when one is self-reliant and failing to recognise one's present conditions(the need to rely on people).

If the question of life is that which confounds the practice of abortion, then the question of what death is, is the counterpart in the practice of euthanasia. In this case, is brain death considered death? I am not a doctor, or a medical student. The only info i have at my disposal is Google, or Wikipedia. I just would like to ask a question: if the brain-dead person is left on his own, will he live? The answer is no. This is not to say that he will die from secondary effects such as starvation , but that a brain-dead person no longer has an independently beating heart and is not breathing. So, does 'pulling the plug' on a brain-dead patient constitutes euthanasia? I really do not think so.

What about coma? Unconsiousness and delirium are usually the reason why involuntary euthanasia has to be practised. I am perplexed it is still called euthanasia. If its involuntary, how can it be suicide? And if it's not suicide, it's murder then?

Scripture, like it or not, is very vague on suicide. What stand we may derive from scripture is a synthesis of different laws and principles in the Bible. In the case of abortion and euthanasia, I think every case should be treated individually. There can be a general stand guiding us(me), but that does not mean that the stand/principle is greater than people(abortion and euthanasia deals with people). This is why I do not have a stand on abortion though in principle I am against it. For euthanasia, well, I am more decidedly against it except brain-death, which I think is more than a moral issue.

Does this mean that the Bible do not have absolute authority because it fails to provide an absolute viewpoint then? I believe no. It is a question of law and love. If, like that night, I had just taken a observer and legalistic approach, it is so simple to have a stand. But a stand is often sweeping, and I believe God tells us to go into details. God's law can be interpretated differently, for those who persist in doing so. But love is absolutely the basis where decisions are made. I believe it is love which makes both life and death palatable, and if sincerely pursued, enjoyable. Moral judgement comes from the heart, but love derives from the soul.

Gratitude

Dear Friend,

it has been a long time since I've visited you, isn't it?


I suppose i should give you some attention lest our hedges overgrow, and the orchard becomes a forest which i am no longer able to navigate, let alone find, after a while. I do treasure this little abode - so do forgive me =)



Now what shall i say this time? Well, recently there's the incident of the poisoned milk from China causing the death of several infants. So, I want to muse on that. Indulge me, ha ha.



I'm not going to slather blame on those responsible or to defend them whatsoever. In fact, I am quite neutral (or should i say indifferent?) on the matter. These things happen; just that this time it is bigger in scale; perhaps and partly due to the effects of globalisation. I was actually quite amused by the way China is 'demonised'. Afterall, i think that such deplorable business practices happen anywhere. I remember there were also food poisoning incidents in Japan as well. Perhaps, the higher one stands, the more obvious one's faults are, then.



As noted, one of the reasons why it is such a big deal is that it affects us locally as well. Milk products have been found with melamine in them, and several prodcts have been ordered off the shelf. I received an SMS about 'problematic' products and was advised to stay off them. Well, I was tempted to just ignore and just say "God will protect me." until i realised that it IS God protecting me. Speaking of that, I was on the bus to work one day when that obnoxious TVmobile showed some interviews on locals about what they would do in response to the milk scare. There was a lady who gave an interesting comment: "I would continue to consume them... why not? If I eat I will be poisoned, if I do not, I will be poisoned too. Sounds fatalistic, no?



But honestly, that comment actually is quite valid from a certain point of view. As food is now a commercial product, the common person today has no control over the quality of the food that goes in his body. Simply said, we no longer produce our own food. We are tertiary food consumers. We cannot even be sure of where the food comes from anymore, or how it is is made, or what it is actually. This is not just limited to food, alot of products we use nowadays have dubious origins and even more questionable utility. Perhaps this is a consequence of the created 'wants' as a result of consumerism.

Anyway, that's not my main point. But this is a muse, isn't it?

The thing that got me really thinking was just the simple act(ritual) of giving thanks for my food the other day.

Giving thanks.

Thanksgiving.

Yup.

When i was a younger Christian, i came into contact with a joke about the practicality about giving thanks. The argument was such that, upon giving thanks for our food, we should consume it without fear, for that food has now been blessed by God for our consumption. Therefore, even if it drops on the floor, even if there's a greenish tint of mold on it, a believer with piety should still joyfully take the bread, give thanks, then lob it into his mouth. It's a matter of faith and trust in God. So the hapless young believer cannot win if 'challenged' by an older believer. Refuse to eat and you would not have practiced faith; eat, and you risk food poisoning. The confusion of a newfound faith.

It is amazing that what is basically a small act of remembrance can lead to such a 'profound' dilemma. We are giving thanks for our food. So the logical progression would be > Trust in His Providence> Food on Table> Gratitude> Joyful Consumption. But the joke would have changed it to somewhat like> Food on Table(or off)> Time to Give Thanks> Trust in food being Blessed> Consumption. What's wrong here?

The emphasis.

The former was done with gratitude in mind. The latter would suggest a compromise(AKA i do my part you do your part)or maybe even a magical spell.

The first was a show of affection. The second was a demand.

Contentment vs Asking for Favors.

Dependant and Consumer.

Which goes back to the recent food scare. I suddenly am struck by how good it is that there is food on the table. I am struck by how I have taken such providence for granted. Many times, I have just gone through the motions of 'saying grace' as a ritual. Sometimes it almost feels like I am asking permission from God to begin to eat my food. Sometimes I just mumble.

In abundance, it is easy to forget God's role and our relationship with Him.

He takes care of me, and keeps me safe. Why do I only feel this token sense of gratitude? Hardly a heart that truly loves Him, is it not? I suppose it is because I still draw too much from my own strength, and not from that boundless love that is His.

Such patience. I am a beloved of God. What a guy.

Thank You.

The New Year!

Yo. Its another year already. The old has gone and the new has come. May my memories be short when they are supposed to be and long when they need to. May there be old wineskins and new ones...



I finished my resolutions today(nope, not going to share them here). A wonderful thing happened while i was pen-ning them down. As i was taking a break from writing, i looked towards the window and i saw a magnificent eagle! This one was different from the Common Buzzard which i see regularly on my cycling trips. It was much larger, was chocolate in colour, and has a white crown. By the size of it, i would think that it is indeed an eagle, though i do not know the species, as of now.



Now, I know some of you would not think that seeing such a sight is a great deal, but to me, it means, and symbolises many things. For one thing, an eagle(a live one) soaring is really, really beautiful. It is an exemplification of strength, grace, confidence, and of majesty. Little wonder that the eagle is the king of the birds.



To me, the eagle also represents an ideal of freedom. But this is not a freedom that approaches wanton-ness, but one where the knowledge and understanding of one's boundaries liberates you- the knowledge of yourself and the knowledge of yourself in relation to God. The eagle knows what it can do and does it. The truth sets one free.



There are many different kinds of flight. The characteristic flight of an eagle is that of soaring. Consider for a moment, the act of soaring can be pretty scary. It involves letting go of the instinct to take control(flapping the wings) and simply allow oneself to flow with the currents(letting God take over). Control is lost(seemingly), but the excitement more than makes up for it, resulting in an extremely enriching experience.



A confidence in one's own ability is good, but a confidence in a stronger person who can, and is willing, to help, is better. In both arenas where confidence can be found, they should be cheered on. In some sort of profoundness, it is the simple answer to approaching life, and embracing it fully. The eagle is the metaphor to this understanding to me, and this is why i am always encouraged by the sight of an eagle in flight. [This is not to say that there are no lessons in God's other lovely creatures... I am just saying I have a preference.]



That eagle i saw flew as if approaching me(the window) then climbed to the right out of my sight. But for that brief moment that it approached me in its splendor, i felt a peace and a security that is unexplainable. I imagined that the eagle had its approving eye on me for that one moment, and i thought i saw it smile.



All i had to do, was to be still, and know that God is God.



All these happened while I am praying. It is a divine exchange indeed.




Jan 3, 2008


There is more to life than this dour

confining prison;

repeated sickening bore.

But no reason

dictates we hold fast to the floor.

It is independent;

without our help it will still moor.

Do you yearn

to be free from that chore?

Then let us learn

to let go of our prideful crawl.



Let us turn,

look up,

spread our wings,

let go,

leap!

And begin to soar.



With heaven,

you will realise that life does indeed have more.

Harken; fill yourself with awe.

May the Kingdom come,

and the lion roar!

What's in a name (Part 3)

This post is just here to provide clarity for my earlier post, 'What's in a name(Part 2)'

Firstly, i will state that the basis of the previous post is based on homonyms associated with the word Bourne in Jason Bourne. I tried to use the different meanings of the words to come up with a story. That's why i said the trilogy inspired me with a story. Of course, that story is the story of salvation.(i think most will be able to see). I tried my best to be credible...but if they seem too far-fetched, do indulge me. :P

And here's the adopted meanings of the various homonyms. I garnered most of them from dictionary.com(unabridged).

1. Bond - in serfdom or slavery

2. Born - brought forth by birth

3. Borne - to accept, or have, as an obligation

- to lead, guide

- to suffer (the later two are more sublime)

4. Bourn - a boundary, limit (Archaic English)

5. Bourne - a brook or a rivulet (Also Archaic English)

There. Those are the meanings i took and meant in the context. There are other reasons why I used some of them, of course, but i shall not indulge myself too much too far. Haha.

Oh, i would also like to thank YA for giving me feedback that the story was too long, and that certain parts of it were hard to understand (too cryptic), and that it was rather preachy. Also, the grammar.

I agree.

I became too conscious of the process of writing that i had written it while focusing on the product rather than just letting the words flow. As a result, it became too wordy, and probably off-character. Point to learn. I have to learn to be less inhibitive and to enjoy the process itself. That will be most natural. Well, anyway, that's it for this time.

What's in a name (Part 2)

The Bourne Ultimatum.

I watched the movie last month(i think). It was entertaining; rich with action, suspense and endowed with a healthy(uh maybe unhealthy) dose of adrenaline. The scenes got by so fast and furious that i almost felt myself finally letting go of my breath after holding it in for more than 2 hours(ewww... haha). Even the soundtrack is good, a good companion and partner to the visual effects of the film.

Of the three Bourne movies(not sure if there will be more), I have watched 2. These are The Bourne Supremacy and The Bourne Ultimatum. I have enjoyed both tremendously, for their entertainment value, and also for the intriguing storyline. As such, when i arrived home, i sought out more information about the series.

The first installment is titled The Bourne Identity(whoa... enlightening, isn't it XD).

Jason Bourne, as a character, is in fact created by an American author named Robert Ludlum(1927-2001). He has a repertoire of thriller novels under his name, and arguably, Jason Bourne is one of his more famous characters. He wrote three Bourne books, namely, The Bourne Identity, The Bourne Supremacy, and the Bourne Ultimatum. There were in fact two other books; The Bourne Legacy and The Bourne Betrayal, but these were written by another author, Eriv Van Lustbader, who continued with the series after securing the rights from the former's estate.

There is a big difference between the story found in the novels and the film adaptations, however. For one thing, the time-line is different, which therefore means a whole plethora of differences such as technological level, the players involved, and even differences in political climate. So, for the purposes of this post, I am only going to talk about the films.

Actually,
not really. Haha ^^

I am instead going to talk about something else, of which the Bourne Series have been an inspiration. It is about someone I know, and also about you and me(okay... if you are shy, it's just about me, alright?). Basically, it is a short story.

There was once a man who was born into slavery. This man had no name- how he was called is simply that which his ancestors were. His father was a slave, as was his father's father and those in his family before them. His forefather did something wrong, and as a result owed an incredible debt, resulting in all his offspring to be born in bondage.

As such, since young, he has been trained in the qualities of what befits a slave- to obey without question what his master wills. He had no rights, or rather, he did not even have an idea what rights were; his joy and anguish were decided at the whims of his master, and even so, what he felt, he learnt that he should not express- for usually when he does, those expressions are cut short at the end of a whip. He had no one to cry to, to confide in, save his fellow slaves, and over time, he got used to life as it is. Life to him is to live, eat, sleep and die a slave. What matters to him is merely not to displease his master so that he would not go hungry, or be deprived of rest. This was his Bond Identity.

In a neighbouring land, there also lived a prince. This prince had everything available to him; anything he needed or wanted, could be easily obtained, for his kingdom is rich and abundant in resources. In this land, the people lived contentedly, for it is a land without want, for everything that was needed, was given. His father, the King, is wise and just, benevolent and kind. The people of the kingdom loved him, for there is peace and righteousness throughout the land, and also the prince, for he followed in his father's footsteps, and was equally wise, equally just, equally benevolent, and equally kind. He could speak for the King, for he exhibits, and possess the same virtues his father has. Thus, the prince have a Born Supremacy.

One day, the King surveyed his kingdom, and having talked over it with his son, decided that
he wanted to invite people of other lands to come and visit the kingdom, and if they liked it, they are welcome to stay; to share in it's prosperity, as there are plenty for anyone who decides to come and stay. As a gesture of sincerity, the prince was sent, gladly and purposefully, as an ambassador to invite those who would come. His mission- to let anyone who wished to, come.

So, after travelling to various lands, as a last stop, the prince arrived in the land where the slave lived.

One day, as the slave was running an errand for his master, he met with the prince. To him, the latter is so... different. It is not so much a matter of dress, the slave has seen all manners of costumes of foreign lands on the few occasions that he get to step outside getting chores done. It was not a matter of language either; his master entertains guests from different places, as such, he is familiar with the different languages that those visitors use. Rather, it was the demeanour. The stranger has an air of authority around him. This was different from the cold, dominating command which his master and his associates had over him; instead it was a warm, comforting presence. Where his masters were pushy, this person seemed to attract.

Used to being ignored by others unless they have a need for him, the slave was awestruck when the stranger approached him with a smile,

'Hello, my friend, my father bade me to invite you to our home. He has prepared a grand reception and is waiting for us at home. Would you come? Please do come, i hope you will come.'

The slave simply nodded. Then, suddenly remembering the time, he jumped with a start and hurried back to his master's place.

A few days passed since that meeting. The slave went back to his duties as normal; he had returned late that day and had received a beating. He began to dismiss it all as wishful thinking when the prince arrived at his master's doorstep. The stranger wanted to buy his freedom! Later in the day, the stranger came to him and said,

'You are now free to go, this is my signet ring. Go to the town's gate. There will be someone waiting for you. Present him with this ring, and he will bring you to where i live. Peace be with you.' Having said that, he smiled and hugged him, and went back into the master's house. The slave(now a free man, so let's call him that) was dumbfounded, but he obeyed nonetheless. He was a bit apprehensive about leaving this familiar territory, but, since he has a choice now, he chose to believe in the prince.

It happened exactly as the prince had said. The free man was brought to the kingdom by the man he met at the gate, and he was speechless at the splendor of the place. Everyone treated each other with kindness, and everyone took care of one another. There was plenty of food around; people worked not because they have to, but because they want to- to keep the kingdom prosperous and because they love the King. The free man's arrival was met with celebration; there was dance, song and feasts, and the King himself received him personally! Initially, he held his head low; after all, he did not deserve all these, but later on, he discovered that there were many like him in the kingdom- they were all invited and chose to stay. Gradually. he was able to settle down, and learn to be free. He found friends, and family, and for the first time in his life, he understood and felt alive.

So... he lived happily ever after! Yay!

Uh... wait... Where was the prince?

The prince did not leave the place where he had found the slave. He went to the master in order to secure the slave's liberty so that he could bring him to his father's kingdom. However, the master, being a greedy man, asked for an exorbitant price, one for which the prince did not have at that time. So, the master proposed a deal- that the prince stay and take the slave's place such that the master sustain no loss; and the slave will be free to go. Later on, someone else can come back with the payment, everything would be fine and the prince can go home. The prince, bearing his mission's priority to enable people who wished to enter his kingdom do so, agreed. And this was the Borne Ultimatum. The prince exchanged his Born Supremacy for the slave's Bond Identity so that the slave can leave*. The signet ring was traded for chains.

The prince dutifully performed the duties that the master told him to do as he kept his side of the bargain. Meanwhile, he waited for his father to send payment so that he can be back at his father's side. The master, though, was exploitative, he treated the former as a slave, and abused him.

As soon as the King received the news of what his son had done, he sent out his trusted servant with the payment in order to bring his son back to him. He was both proud of, and worried for his son.

However, when the representative of the King arrived with the payment, he discovered that the prince was no longer there. To his horror, the slave-owner(master) had reneged on his side of the deal. There was an enemy nation of the Kingdom; since ancient times, the ruler of this nation had plotted to bring about the downfall of the King and his Kingdom, so that the ruler can be the most powerful and establish himself as supreme over the world. An agent of this ruler had found out that the prince was in the slave-owner's house. Seizing the chance to hold the good King ransom by having his son hostage, the ruler offered the master a price beyond what was originally agreed with the prince. Faced with riches he had never dreamt of before, the master quickly agreed. They together plotted to bring the prince to ruler's nation, to be the latter's prisoner. So, the master committed the Bourne Betrayal.


On a night when the prince was resting from his toil, remembering of his home, several of the master's hired thugs took him unaware, beat him unconscious, and bundled him up in a sack, intending to transport him to the evil nation. During the journey, however, as they were crossing a river, one of them slipped, and the sack that the prince was in fell into the river. The torrent was fast, and in a moment, the sack disappeared.

The thugs reported the matter to the the perpetrators. The slaver cursed his luck, for he had lost the fortune which the prince represented, while the ruler smirked, for he has been rid of his great adversary.


The King's representative hurried back with the dire news. On hearing it, the whole Kingdom gasped. Everyone stopped what they were doing, and mourned. The free man, was mortified. Only now did he know the policy of exchange; did he realised the price the prince had paid for someone like him who is worthless. He felt that he had caused the prince's death, and in addition to sadness, he felt an overwhelming sense of guilt, and suddenly decided he did not belong in the Kingdom after all, he being a wretch and all. He planned to secretly leave the place, and maybe return to his former mater's side. As he was about to leave, a figure stopped him. It was the King! To the free man he said this,
'I know where you intend to go, but, do not go. If you do, my son's sacrifice will have been in vain. He did what i sent him to do, and you are here. Please, do not let go of that fact. Stay.'

With that, the man was overwhelmed with emotions which he cannot express, and knelt down and weeped. The King laid a hand on his shoulder, comforting even when he should be the one needing comfort. Strangely, the King had a serene smile on his face.

Now, the river that the prince was lost in, actually flows across the Kingdom as well. The prince regained consciousness, and was washed along to a stream found in the Kingdom.

The free man found him. He could not believe his eyes. He ran to him, his eyes full of tears. The prince embraced him, and comforted him. The latter was speechless. All he could do was to hold on to the prince; he was so glad that he had come back.

The whole Kingdom rejoiced. The prince went back to sit at the King's right side, where he truly belongs. He went to greet and welcome those who had newly arrived in the Kingdom. The people praised him, and was glad and amazed by him. They rejoiced that they could come into such a place through such a glorious prince, who came from his father. The King was proud of his son, and received him back with love. And the prince co-ruled with his father, the King.

The end~

Uh wait... wait... (again?)

There's still the matter of the free man(now he really is free). The Bourn Legacy. Out of gratitude for how he was released from his life of bondage and witnessing that his redeemer lives, the free man asked to continue the legacy of what the prince had done. The King and the Prince personally endorsed him, and sent him out with blessings. They sent a counsellor to be with him, such that he may succeed.

Oh. And they gave him a name where he had none.

They named him Christian.

And so, this concludes my story. Well, it is not really my story. As I've said, it is about someone I(we) know and about you and me. I am simply re-telling it, using some puns derived from the Bourne Series haha. Hope you who read it enjoy it as much as I penned(uh... typed?) it. =)

It is Jesus who sets us free. Amen.

What's in a name...

Well, here I am.

Finally started a blog, and this is its first post. Been wondering how to kickstart something I'm not familiar with, and just decided that i might as well explain the naming of this blog. =) Some of you might be wondering (or maybe not) why the address is bigandreallytoot. Well, for one thing, which is really obvious, it is an acronym of the name Bart.

Now, Bart is my Christian name, or more precisely, my baptism name. Actually, the full version is Bartholomew; but unless it is necessary, it's just Bart(saves alot of people from mouth acrobatics and also some others from the shower of saliva courtesy of those who try).

Anyway, how bigandreallytoot came about was when i first told Jiaxiang of it. Then, he was a new brother, and as he was going for water baptism soon, was deciding on whether he should get a baptism name. So, one fine day, he asked me on MSN, to which i replied, 'Bart'. Of which he cheekily replied, ' Big and Really Toot*? Why did you choose a name such as that?'

-___-

Actually his adaptation of the name suited me quite well, incidentally. I was big(still am) and i am really toot(well i believe everyone is toot in his/her own way); and old friends tend to be more familiar of your toot-ness than anyone else... so no complaints... quite amused in fact(have to be in order for me to choose to use it as my address eh).

Well, to answer his more serious question- thinking back, when i first chose the name, i was actually clueless. Bartholomew sounded rare; and i dig anything that is unconventional or out of the norm(usually). That was my first rationale(should i term it rationale or whim?) for choosing it. However, baptism being a serious matter as it is(ahem), i was compelled then, to find a more meaningful reason for using it. So, i did some research...and viola!





Bartholomew is an apostle. Yay!(shallow, ain't I >.>)

Then i checked the Hebrew meaning of that name- It derived from Bar-Tolmai; which means The son of him who maketh the waters to mount, or a son that suspends the waters. Wow. Sounds like Moses. No wait... actually more like Joshua. Well, no significance to me at that point whatsoever...

Another entry explaining the name- Bar-Tolmai also means son of Talmai the farmer; meaning ‘having many furrows’, i.e. rich in land. Oh, so he's the son of him who is a farmer -that explains why he suspends the waters. It is a poetic way of describing the process of irrigation and such, i think. It still begs the question though- what has it got to do with me? As we Singaporeans say it... no link leh.

Later on, i discovered that Nathaniel and Bartholomew are the same person, and Nathaniel means given by God or God's gift. Hey that sounded nice. That is tagged to Nathaniel, however(so no cheating). Hmm.

So i turned to the Bible, and found the the only passage where Nathaniel speaks to Jesus. To keep it short, this verse caught my eye- John 1:47 When Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, he said of him, "Here is a true Israelite, in whom there is nothing false." My namesake is affirmed for his honesty, integrity and sincerity(furthermore, the words are from Jesus!). That is something which i valued, and wished to attain. And so it became the reason for my choice; as a reminder to myself who the biblical character holding this name was, and what myself as a person, and Christian, can and should aspire to as i continue on my journey home. A role model. Of course, Jesus is the best role model; what i am saying is, amongst the
multitude of virtues, i will be more focused on befriending the values of honesty, integrity and sincerity(still alot of hiccups with them every so often :p)

And so, I was born again as Bartholomew, Bart for short.

I remembered i arose from that watery grave cold, and desperately in need of a towel.

And so here finishes my first post. Had originally only wanted to explain the naming of the blog(well freebies do not hurt, do they?) And seriously, this is proving more fun than i thought. =)